Dear Queenie: Advice for an Imperfect World

Has She Really Forgiven Him?

I have been in a relationship for almost 11 years. We have 3 kids together. I know he loves me but he cheated while I was pregnant with our third child. I now question him about everything, complain when he goes anywhere.

We are not married and we are 27. I love him, forgave him, but have a hard time forgetting. My complaining is stressing him out. We argue. Is there a way we can get past this?
..........................................
You've been with him since you were 16, you're a single mom of his three kids, and he cheated while you were pregnant with his third child? Why aren't the two of you married if you love him and you're sure he loves you? Or doesn't he want the obligations and responsibilities of marriage?

Of course your complaining is stressing him. He wants you to forgive AND forget. I don't think you've forgiven him yet perhaps because you're not so sure he won't do the same thing again.

Can you get past his betrayal and your memories of what he did? I don't know. Some women can, others are unable to. I don't know what your capabilities are but your actions indicate that you aren't a forgiver/forgetter at this time. Perhaps your "gut" is telling you something that you don't want to hear?

I hope you and your children are legally protected should he decide to walk out of your life. -- Queenie