Dear Queenie: Advice for an Imperfect World: And Baby Makes 3

And Baby Makes 3

Hi Queenie, over the last year or so my boyfriend of 6 years and I have been slowly drifting apart. I know that he has cheated on me, but puts it down to us "being on a break". He has told me he still loves me but is not in love which I understand. I recently found out I am pegnant to him.

My problem is I know we need to break up and I want to but am having trouble letting go. I am so angry and hurt I always want to tell him how It feels from my side but he doesn't seem to care.

How do I let go of our relationship? He will still be in my life because of the baby, but I don't want to be full of resentment and anger and sadness when I see him. At the same time I don't want to "let him off the hook" easily.

How do I get over these feelings so I can move on? How can I put his mistakes behind me? Please help, I feel so confused. Thanks. -- Charlotte
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Charlotte, anger is a normal reaction to having a long term relationship end, particularly when cheating is involved. But, don't you think you're lucky that it's ending now rather than having to go through the break-up of a marriage? This guy really isn't husband material, he's a long term habit that you need to break for your own good and the good of the child that you carry.

You won't be letting him "off the hook" if you get him legally bound to provide for his child. His child deserves to be legally taken care of until the age of 18 or longer if your attorney can get college funds written into a support ruling (not usual but maybe you'll have a smart attorney who can figure out how to do it).

It's not just his mistakes you have to deal with but your own. After all, you chose this man and you chose to stay with him even when he cheated on you. Deal with forgiving yourself and then work on forgiving the father of your child. -- Queenie

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Want more of Queenie's no-nonsense advice? Order her books from Amazon.com: Advice for an Imperfect Single World and Advice for an Imperfect Married World.

Dear Queenie: Advice for an Imperfect World Let's face it, if this was a perfect world, I'd be sitting under a beach umbrella, sipping a pina colada, watching buff bods play volleyball. But, this world is far from perfect. So, for now, the beach and buff bods will have to wait. I will, however, sip a pina colada or two as I ponder the best advice for your situation if your love life is in the dumpster.
Questions? Ask Queenie Go to Queenie Home Topics Abusive Relationships And More... Breaking Up Is Hard To Do Can This Marriage Be Saved? Can This Relationship Work? Cheating Side Of Town Cyber Love Forgiving Friends To Lovers He's Married, She's Not Is It Truly Over? Letting Go Looking For Love Midlife Madness Sexually Speaking... Stay Or Go? Torn Between Two Lovers Younger Man, Older Woman	« Recently Divorced \| Main \| Break Up By Email? » And Baby Makes 3 Hi Queenie, over the last year or so my boyfriend of 6 years and I have been slowly drifting apart. I know that he has cheated on me, but puts it down to us "being on a break". He has told me he still loves me but is not in love which I understand. I recently found out I am pegnant to him. My problem is I know we need to break up and I want to but am having trouble letting go. I am so angry and hurt I always want to tell him how It feels from my side but he doesn't seem to care. How do I let go of our relationship? He will still be in my life because of the baby, but I don't want to be full of resentment and anger and sadness when I see him. At the same time I don't want to "let him off the hook" easily. How do I get over these feelings so I can move on? How can I put his mistakes behind me? Please help, I feel so confused. Thanks. -- Charlotte ........................................ Charlotte, anger is a normal reaction to having a long term relationship end, particularly when cheating is involved. But, don't you think you're lucky that it's ending now rather than having to go through the break-up of a marriage? This guy really isn't husband material, he's a long term habit that you need to break for your own good and the good of the child that you carry. You won't be letting him "off the hook" if you get him legally bound to provide for his child. His child deserves to be legally taken care of until the age of 18 or longer if your attorney can get college funds written into a support ruling (not usual but maybe you'll have a smart attorney who can figure out how to do it). It's not just his mistakes you have to deal with but your own. After all, you chose this man and you chose to stay with him even when he cheated on you. Deal with forgiving yourself and then work on forgiving the father of your child. -- Queenie ........................................................................................... Want more of Queenie's no-nonsense advice? Order her books from Amazon.com: Advice for an Imperfect Single World and Advice for an Imperfect Married World. © 2006 FRIENDS & Lovers the Relationships Guide and Home & Leisure Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved.